Minnesotans develop the "winter hunch" which is actually two different things with the same name. The first winter hunch is when people are walking outside during winter. Good posture disappears in Minnesota at this time and is replaced with hunched shoulders and a bowed head. This is partly because people are trying to shield themselves from the cold and partly because their winter jackets are so heavy that they can't stand up straight anymore.
The second winter hunch is one that most Minnesotans think they have. It goes something like this, "Uff-da, I got a hunch it's gonna snow tonight, and ya betcha we're gonna get stuck at home tomorrow." "Yup, better head to the grocery store and buy us some more lefse/flour to make lefse to get us through."
Two lane roads turn into one lane roads overnight. When the snowplow goes through, it pushes all the snow from the middle of the street onto the side of the street, creating huge mountains of snow right along where cars would normally park. This leaves little to no room for parking and definitely space for only one car to drive on the street at a time. If you're heading up a hill in winter, you better pray you don't meet someone coming down because one of you is going to have to back up, and it'll probably be you because the other guy won't be able to back UP the icy hill to let you through.
Small children disappear during the winter and are replaced by small abominable snowman-type creatures. Some theorize that this is due to the 14 layers most parents put on their child before allowing them to go outdoors in the winter.
Ya sure, ya betcha it's cold! 'Nuff said.
People who visit Minnesota in the spring bring home tales of ghosts and strange people who wear shorts when it's 48 degrees outside. A typical Minnesotan's skin only sees sunlight for about 4 months out of the year which means that after a long winter, they're literally as white as a ghost. Minnesotans are also known for thinking that any temperature over the freezing point is shorts and sandals weather.
Winter in Minnesota would be the perfect time to commit a crime. Everyone's bundled up from head to toe with only their eyes showing anyways, so a burglar could easily blend into a crowd. He also could get away without anyone being able to identify his vehicle because it would be probably be covered with snow, sand from the roads, and slush. His license plate would be covered up by the miniature snowdrifts that build up on anything that isn't completely smooth, making a positive ID practically impossible. Unless he's like that one crook I heard of on the radio the other day. He was very careful all the way through the burglary, but made one little mistake as he left. He backed into a snow bank to pull out and left a perfect imprint of his license plate in the snow, leading police straight to his door. Oops.
Occasional frostbite is nothing to get excited over. Don't try telling other Minnesotans that the tip of your pinkie got frostbitten while you were out shoveling 2 feet of snow and expect them to be impressed. It happens and it's no big deal.
When schools close for a snow day during a blizzard, it generally doesn't deter people from going anywhere. So the kids have a snow day? Load 'em up in the car and let's go shopping!
During the summer, Minnesotans talk about the road construction. During the winter, they talk about the weather. When it hits 20 below 0, Minnesotans start using the phrase, "Cold 'nuff fer ya?" liberally. At that point, most will also start wearing a knit hat outdoors as well.
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Showing posts with label cold. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cold. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
The Dog Days of Summer
Actually, I lied in the title for this post. This summer has been surprisingly cool. When we went to Wisconsin last weekend, I had to bring sweatshirts and jackets for everyone which I usually don't even think of packing for a trip in mid-July. But I'm not complaining. I've never been a big fan of sweating profusely. In fact, I moved out of my parents' house when I was 17, not because I wasn't getting along with them, but because my best friend had invited me to move in with her family and they had central air while my parents' house was poorly equipped with a small window air conditioner.
The summer I was pregnant was great. Everyone told me how hot I was going to be, but I was freezing the whole time I was pregnant and never really got much use out of my summer maternity clothes. In fact, every time I complain about being cold now (which is often) Hubby asks me if there's some news I'm keeping from him.
When I was around 3 months pregnant, we moved into the basement apartment of a friend from church. The back half of the apartment is built into a hill, but in the front we have a huge covered porch. Anyways, the lady upstairs is always warm, and so she turns down the central air until she's comfortable. However, as we all learned in science class, hot air rises. Therefore, on top of the basement being naturally cooler since it's built into the hill and geting absolutely no direct sunlight due to the covered wraparound porch, when it's cool enough upstairs it is frigid downstairs. It's typical for most people to add a layer or two when they venture outdoors in the winter and shed a layer (hopefully not two!) in the summer whether they be indoors or out. Not us. Due to the glacial temperature in my house, I vastly underestimate the outside temperature when selecting clothes for myself and Princess in the morning. When we go outside, I'm always surprised at just how hot and muggy it is and find myself hastily shedding layers or going back inside to change from long sleeves to short. Princess's summer wardrobe of adorable sunsuits and shorts has gone untouched for most of the summer because even when it's warm enough to wear them outside, it's not warm enough inside. Sweaters and sweatshirts the standard uniform in my house.
I am definitely enjoying summer and dreading winter. I love that Princess can play outside this year. Last summer, she was using the army crawl as her main method of travel, and that wasn't exactly conducive to being outside on the rough cement or in the stain-producing grass. Winter is nice for about the first week. After that, bundling up in 18 layers to go outside, driving through near-blizzard conditions to get to work, testing the car brakes on the 4 inches of ice covering the road, and dealing with weekly frostbite all become a tad annoying. Minnesota is not a good place to live if you don't care for driving on treacherous roads. However, summer isn't much better in that aspect because of the relentless road construction. Like they say around here, "There are only 2 seasons in Minnesota. Winter and Road Construction."
Unsolicited Advice:
Even in the middle of summer, the weather can still turn cool in the evening. I always keep a spare sweater in the car for Louise just in case.
The summer I was pregnant was great. Everyone told me how hot I was going to be, but I was freezing the whole time I was pregnant and never really got much use out of my summer maternity clothes. In fact, every time I complain about being cold now (which is often) Hubby asks me if there's some news I'm keeping from him.
When I was around 3 months pregnant, we moved into the basement apartment of a friend from church. The back half of the apartment is built into a hill, but in the front we have a huge covered porch. Anyways, the lady upstairs is always warm, and so she turns down the central air until she's comfortable. However, as we all learned in science class, hot air rises. Therefore, on top of the basement being naturally cooler since it's built into the hill and geting absolutely no direct sunlight due to the covered wraparound porch, when it's cool enough upstairs it is frigid downstairs. It's typical for most people to add a layer or two when they venture outdoors in the winter and shed a layer (hopefully not two!) in the summer whether they be indoors or out. Not us. Due to the glacial temperature in my house, I vastly underestimate the outside temperature when selecting clothes for myself and Princess in the morning. When we go outside, I'm always surprised at just how hot and muggy it is and find myself hastily shedding layers or going back inside to change from long sleeves to short. Princess's summer wardrobe of adorable sunsuits and shorts has gone untouched for most of the summer because even when it's warm enough to wear them outside, it's not warm enough inside. Sweaters and sweatshirts the standard uniform in my house.
I am definitely enjoying summer and dreading winter. I love that Princess can play outside this year. Last summer, she was using the army crawl as her main method of travel, and that wasn't exactly conducive to being outside on the rough cement or in the stain-producing grass. Winter is nice for about the first week. After that, bundling up in 18 layers to go outside, driving through near-blizzard conditions to get to work, testing the car brakes on the 4 inches of ice covering the road, and dealing with weekly frostbite all become a tad annoying. Minnesota is not a good place to live if you don't care for driving on treacherous roads. However, summer isn't much better in that aspect because of the relentless road construction. Like they say around here, "There are only 2 seasons in Minnesota. Winter and Road Construction."
Unsolicited Advice:
Even in the middle of summer, the weather can still turn cool in the evening. I always keep a spare sweater in the car for Louise just in case.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Just Breathe...Yeah Right
I've had asthma my whole life. And I'm not talking about a little wheezing when I run a marathon, I'm talking about not walking from one room in my house to another without my trusty inhaler. I'm talking about the being-allergic-to-everything-that-grows-outside-or-inside, having-an-asthma-attack-because-of-the-weather-no-matter-what-it-is, and occasionally on-death's-door type of asthma. Not fun. But all that pales in comparison to the fact that Princess has asthma too. I don't know if she has asphyixic asthma (where your lungs spontaneously close up for no reason, leaving you to turn blue and gasp for oxygen like a fish out of water) like me or if she has severe allergies to go with it. But that doesn't matter. The point is that I passed on the gene for asthma to my little girl. I can't bear the thought that she will probably grow up unable to run and play with other kids or go anywhere without her "rescue inhaler" or even have a common cold without it causing serious breathing problems. And it's because of me. When I was younger, I often thought about adopting children instead of taking the risk of giving birth to children who would spend most of their lives on the sidelines unable to breathe because of a disease I passed on to them. But after I got married, the desire to have a child with my husband and the high cost of adoption overcame my rationality and now I have my beautiful daughter.
Princess has yet another cold right now. She gets, on average, one a month. The warm mist vaporizer has become another piece of decor in her room and I always have a stash of lotion tissue on hand to wipe her tiny red nose. Runny noses are an everyday occurence in my house. Yes, I understand that most children her age get a lot of colds. I've mostly ignored the comments from people that it seems as if Princess is sick all the time. But when my sister, who has a little boy only six weeks older than Princess and who spends time almost every day with her, mentioned that her son has only had 2 colds this year while Princess is on her 6th or 7th, I had to admit that in the back of my mind, I began to wonder if Princess's ability to read a book about a cold virus and somehow contract said virus is really normal. This will go on my list of questions to ask the doctor that I will inevitably leave lying on my kitchen table when Princess and I head out the door to the pediatrician. But I digress.
Each time Princess gets a cold, her asthma becomes more evident. We haven't had an official diagnosis since it's next to impossible to convince a toddler to "blow out the birthday candles on the computer screen really fast and hard." (A reference to a diagnostic test that any asthmatic or parent of an asthmatic is familiar with) However, having had asthma since I was old enough to breathe, I know an asthmatic cough and wheeze when I hear one. It absolutely breaks my heart to watch Princess's tiny chest heave as she tries to breathe normally. I've learned how to give her a nebtreatment which was not an easy feat as she has a morbid fear of anything that makes a sound similar to a vacuum cleaner and doesn't particularly care for having a mask the size of her head placed over her mouth and nose. But we've succeeded with the help of the beloved pacifier and lots of loud annoying kids' movies. Just today, I saw her playing with a baby doll over by the nebulizer. Princess was panting from lack of oxygen, but she was giving her baby a "nebtreatment". Isn't that precious? Just what every mother wants their child to learn. At least she doesn't cry while giving her "baby" a nebtreatment like I inevitably do.
Unsolicited Advice:
To help Princess when she's hacking away so hard she can't sleep, I give her a teaspoon of corn syrup which helps her coughing. You can use honey for this too, but make sure you NEVER give it to a baby under the age of one because there's a risk of botulism.
Princess has yet another cold right now. She gets, on average, one a month. The warm mist vaporizer has become another piece of decor in her room and I always have a stash of lotion tissue on hand to wipe her tiny red nose. Runny noses are an everyday occurence in my house. Yes, I understand that most children her age get a lot of colds. I've mostly ignored the comments from people that it seems as if Princess is sick all the time. But when my sister, who has a little boy only six weeks older than Princess and who spends time almost every day with her, mentioned that her son has only had 2 colds this year while Princess is on her 6th or 7th, I had to admit that in the back of my mind, I began to wonder if Princess's ability to read a book about a cold virus and somehow contract said virus is really normal. This will go on my list of questions to ask the doctor that I will inevitably leave lying on my kitchen table when Princess and I head out the door to the pediatrician. But I digress.
Each time Princess gets a cold, her asthma becomes more evident. We haven't had an official diagnosis since it's next to impossible to convince a toddler to "blow out the birthday candles on the computer screen really fast and hard." (A reference to a diagnostic test that any asthmatic or parent of an asthmatic is familiar with) However, having had asthma since I was old enough to breathe, I know an asthmatic cough and wheeze when I hear one. It absolutely breaks my heart to watch Princess's tiny chest heave as she tries to breathe normally. I've learned how to give her a nebtreatment which was not an easy feat as she has a morbid fear of anything that makes a sound similar to a vacuum cleaner and doesn't particularly care for having a mask the size of her head placed over her mouth and nose. But we've succeeded with the help of the beloved pacifier and lots of loud annoying kids' movies. Just today, I saw her playing with a baby doll over by the nebulizer. Princess was panting from lack of oxygen, but she was giving her baby a "nebtreatment". Isn't that precious? Just what every mother wants their child to learn. At least she doesn't cry while giving her "baby" a nebtreatment like I inevitably do.
Unsolicited Advice:
To help Princess when she's hacking away so hard she can't sleep, I give her a teaspoon of corn syrup which helps her coughing. You can use honey for this too, but make sure you NEVER give it to a baby under the age of one because there's a risk of botulism.
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