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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Why Won't You Stop Asking Me Why?

I hate the word "why." And if you ask me why, I'll probably bite your head off. So please don't ask, let me just tell you. Princess is in the "why" stage. She has been for a while, and at first, I thought it was cute that she wanted to learn so much. Now, she seems to think that no matter what I say, I expect her to follow up with "Why?"
Me: "Princess, you just stepped on your sunglasses and broke them."
Princess: "Why?"
Me: "I don't know why you did that."
Princess: "Why?"
Me: "Because I have no idea why you do most of the things you do."
Princess: "Why?"
Me: "Because 2 year olds are inexplicable."
Princess "Why?"
Me: (Pulls out hair in frustration) "Stop asking me why! I don't know why!!"
Princess: "Why?"
Me: (Screams and locks self in bathroom)
Princess: (Bangs on bathroom door) "Why?"
So yeah...not so cute anymore.

Have you ever noticed that people are never happy with how many children you have or don't have? After the wedding ceremony, people (especially prospective grandmas) sidle up to you at the reception with a glint in their eye and casually ask how long you plan to wait before having kids. Five months later, the same question is posed, but this time with a vague sense of urgency. A year later, people start slipping you brochures with titles like "How to Overcome Infertility" and "Babies: A Fulfilling Experience"

When you finally cave and become pregnant, complete strangers feel as if it's acceptable for them to add their opinion. Questions arise as to the number of babies you are carrying even though you've had two ultrasounds to prove that there really is only one baby in there. Fast forward to when the baby is 6 months old. People start to whisper behind your back. "Do you think she'll have another soon?" It's almost as if, since you've proven your ability to create a new life, they expect you to pop out another one within the year. After you've had your second baby, some people start to change their tack. Instead of pushing you in the direction of pregnancy, they tell you how you now have the perfect pair and don't need any more. Others will still hold out hope that you continue to have more. If you dare to become pregnant again, you will receive advice on how three children is really a difficult number to have because someone is always left out. About half of the people telling you this are trying to make you feel guilty for bringing another life into this world, the other half are telling you to have one more to even things up a bit. When you bring home your fourth baby, with only a few rare exceptions, people will begin giving you literature on the dangers of overpopulation and asking you how you can possibly handle so many little people hanging on you all day long.

Unsolicited Advice:
One of the best things about having kids is that they make great gift ideas. I don't mean you should wrap your 10 month old up and give him away at Christmas time, but pictures of your kids or personalized items with pictures of your kids make great gifts for relatives (your boss at work may not be too impressed with a mug showing off your children's "silly" faces).

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