10 Tips for Introducing Your Child to Worship

Here are ten tips for introducing your child to worship from FlyBy Promotions. 

1. Attend a child-friendly church.
A church that invites children to attend worship, that has a children’s time during worship or a service in which children are included, will not mind the noise and commotion that comes with having young children in worship.

2. Bring your child to church on a day other than Sunday morning.
Call the church office and make an appointment with a pastor, Christian education director, or church school teacher. Go on a tour of the church facility, and locate the Sunday school rooms and bathrooms as well as the sanctuary. Let your child explore the sanctuary, see how it feels to sit in the pew, and leaf through the Bibles and hymnbooks. Look behind the pulpit, Communion table, and baptismal font, and explain the use of these.

3. Take home a worship bulletin and go through the service at home.
Show your child that there are times to sit, to stand (and in some places, to kneel), to sing, to pray, and to listen. If the Lord’s Prayer is used, write down the words and let your child practice at home. Prepare offering envelopes and let your child put money in the envelope, and explain why the offering is important.

4. Play “Let’s go to church” at home.
Practicing the worship service at home will help your child feel more comfortable with what happens in worship.

5. Read the Bible and pray at home.
Purchase an age-appropriate Bible for your child and read the stories. Let your child handle the Bible and encourage questions. You can explain that the Bible is where we learn God’s story, and how we are part of that story. If you let prayer be a part of your everyday life, not just something you do at church, your child will understand its importance.

6. Sit near an aisle or in a place where you can make an exit if needed.
If your child needs to go to the bathroom, or is feeling overly stimulated or having a disruptive day, don’t be embarrassed. Walk your child out of the sanctuary until she can work off a little energy, and then come back in. This is much easier if you don’t have to crawl across a row of other people in the pew!

7. Be prepared with a worship notebook or bag.
Many churches provide materials for children to use during worship, but if not, bring your own supplies. Colored pencils can be used to mark the parts of worship in the bulletin as you go through them one by one. Get to church a few minutes in advance and use a bookmark to mark the hymns that will be sung that day. Have some coloring pages from a Bible coloring book for your child to color, or some blank pages for doodling. This is not disrespectful, and can help your child listen more attentively. Have the words of the Lord’s Prayer printed on a page for the child to follow, if he or she is of reading age. Let your child draw a picture of the anthem or hymns being sung, or the sermon, and give this to the choir director or pastor afterwards.

8. Teach basic church etiquette.
Speak to people before and after worship, and teach your child how to shake hands and greet others. If your child is shy, don’t force it, but practice at home and let your child see you greeting others. Let the child put the hymnbook and Bible away after use, and be sure to take your bulletin with you, rather than leaving it in the pew. Meeting other people and taking care of the church facility helps a child feel that “This is my church!”

9. Get to know the pastor.
Pastors of child-friendly churches love to get to know the children of the church. Introduce your child to the pastor after worship, and participate in other church activities so that the pastor becomes a friend and not a scary adult.

10. Don’t give up!
It may take awhile for your child to become comfortable in worship, and to learn how to sit quietly. The best way for this to happen is to attend worship on a regular basis. There may be days when it doesn’t go well, but don’t let this stop you from coming the following week. Practice makes perfect!
 

31 Days-10 Tips For Shopping With Small Children

We do small shopping trips to our local grocery store for milk and things that we need in between big shopping trips, but once a month, we head up to the "big city" 45 minutes away from our small town to stock up on groceries.  Between groceries, Princess's gluten-free/nut-free/dairy-free/egg-free foods, clothing, and my boutique supplies, we usually end up making 4-6 stops and spending all day shopping.  Not fun, especially when you have small children!  Here are a few tips I've found that make shopping with kids easier.

1. Park next to the cart corral.  I feel uncomfortable leaving my kids in the van while I walk halfway across the parking lot to put the cart away, but bringing them with is a hassle as well.  I always park next to the cart corral and then I can buckle them in, put the cart away, and never be too far from the van.


Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bryce/237233725/

2. Bring snacks.  I used to pick up snacks while we were out shopping, but that can be more expensive than bringing your own.  I like to use reusable snack bags like the ones shown below for cereal, crackers, or other non-messy snacks.  I also bring bottles with spill-proof lids or sippy cups along for drinks rather than buying them something while we're out.

Reusable snack bags from Etsy

3. Have them help you shop.  I often ask them to look for certain things while we're shopping which makes them feel like they're helping me or we play "I Spy."  I've also seen shopping lists for kids to keep them occupied at the store such as the ones seen below.  You could also easily make your own by putting clip art of food on a word document and printing it. 

Source: activity-mom.com via Jane on Pinterest

Source: she-wears-flowers.com via Lindsay on Pinterest

4. Talk to them.  Describe things you see to them or ask them to do the same.  Ask them questions to get them involved.

5. Never give in!  This means when they whine or ask for things (as they will do!) don't reward that behavior.  EVER.  If you do it one time, they will continue to beg, whine, and throw fits every time you're shopping because they know you will probably give in again.  My mom had a rule that if we asked for something, we definitely wouldn't get it, but if we didn't ask, there was a chance we'd get a treat when we were done shopping!  This is something I do with my kids too now.

6. Make regular trips down the toy aisle starting from the time they're babies.  Seriously.  If you start when they're too young to ask for things, you can train them to NOT ask for things.  When we're walking down the toy aisle, I will stop and point out different toys.  When we're done looking at it, I tell the child to say "bye-bye" to the toy because it has to stay with its "friends" at the store.  They generally will happily comply and learn that just because we see fun toys at the store, that does not mean that we will buy them.  Sometimes Princess will ask for something, and I tell her that if she wants it, she can put it on her Christmas wish list or save her money for it herself.  By the time, she gets home, she's usually forgotten about it completely.

7.  Go over the rules outside the store.  Don't wait until they're acting up to remind them.  I go over the rules before we even get out of the van to go into the store.  This way, they are fresh in the kids' minds, and they're aware of the behavior I expect from them.   

8. Plan a break.  The reason I like to leave first thing in the morning for a big shopping trip is so that lunch time falls somewhere in the middle of the day.  This breaks it up for the kids and allows them to get some energy out.  We either hit up a restaurant with a play place or I take them to the mall which also has a play area.

9. Hit the bathroom before you are stuck in the middle of the store with a cart full of food, and a child doing the potty polka.  The bathrooms are usually inside the door somewhere so take advantage of that and head that direction before you even get a cart.  If your child is afraid of those automatic flush toilets (like mine are) keep a pad of small sticky notes in your purse and put one over the sensor until you're ready to leave the bathroom stall. 

10. Have them hold the cart.  My mom did this when she would do her all-day shopping trips with 5 small children, and now I do it with my kids.  Having to chase kids around the store is a sure-fire way to make the trip a nightmare.  This is also a safety issue!  Put the youngest child in the cart seat as long as they still fit and have the others hold onto the side of the cart.  Make sure they know that there will be consequences if they let go and follow through!  It doesn't take them long to learn.

What are your tips for shopping with kids?

Want to see a complete list of the posts in the 31 Days to Simplify Your Life series?  Click here. 



Thanks so much for visiting Supermommy!...Or Not.  Please take a moment to "like" me on facebook"! 

I Am THAT Mom

You know that mom who runs (or in my case, waddles) into the school 20 minutes late to pick up her kid from her second day of preschool?

That might have been me today...

Let's just say it's a good thing that Grandma works at the after-school daycare program two doors down from a certain little girl's preschool class.

Do you know what people assume when you're 9 months pregnant and 20 minutes late for something?

No, I'm not in labor.  Just not smart enough to pay attention to the clock.



Thanks so much for visiting Supermommy!...Or Not.  Please take a moment to "like" me on facebook"!

In Which I Try to Poison My Children...

Yesterday, Little Man came up to while I was working on the computer (yes, I was actually working!  Those customer emails don't answer themselves) and gave me the cutest smile.

"I eat treat mommy daddy's room."

Ok.....I don't have any treats in my room.  What was he talking about?  I thought I had better look into this further because this is the child who refuses to eat people food, but has no problem eating inedible things (such as what happened here, in this story that's not for the faint of stomach)

"I eat mouse treats.  Mmmmmmm!"  And he rubbed his tummy appreciatively for extra effect.

I was still confused until Princess came over to clarify.

"He just ate some of the mouse poisons in your room.  It's okay, he only ate one."

My heart skipped a beat as I remembered that about a week ago, I'd thought I heard a mouse in my room at night and had put some D-Con mouse poison out as a precaution.  When I say I put it "out" I mean that I hid it behind a heavy dresser where a mouse could get to it, but not a small child who's not allowed in my room anyways. 

Ha.

That'll teach me.  

A quick call to the Poison Control Center verified that one piece of mouse poison would not hurt Little Man*, but to watch him for any unusual behaviors (such as growing a tail or developing an inclination to nibble cheese).

*Disclaimer: No small children were harmed in the writing of this blog post.  The mouse, which was indeed in my room, was harmed as he apparently ingested more of the mouse poison than Little Man.  


Thanks so much for visiting Supermommy!...Or Not.  Please take a moment to "like" me on facebook"!

How to Encourage Family Unity

 I grew up as one of five siblings.  We fought, but we always stuck together.  We even formed a "gang" that did anonymous good deeds for people.  We were individuals, but still a unified family.  I know that homeschooling contributed quite a bit to that sense of family as we spent most of our time with each other, but we each did have our own set of friends as well.

I see a lot of families where the kids (especially as they get a little older) all do their own thing.  There is sibling rivalry and a sense of competition between them.  I don't want this for my family or my children.

So how am I going to encourage a sense of unity between my children even though they won't be homeschooled?

First of all, I do not encourage a competitive spirit among my children.  There are friendly races occasionally, but we make sure we do not focus on winning, but rather on having fun as a family.

Secondly, I encourage each child to help the other one out and strive to make them proud of their individual roles in our family.  Princess, as the big sister, is honored that she is able to help care for her younger brother.  Little Man, although still very young, is encouraged to turn to his sister when he needs help while being shown at the same time that he can also take care of her (this goes along with teaching him to be a gentleman who respects women).

Thirdly, housekeeping and other tasks are to be done together when possible.  Because the kids are still so young, it's usually a necessity that we all work together, but I do plan to continue this as they grow older and more capable.  For instance, when I empty the dishwasher, Princess and Little Man work together to carry the dishes over to the counter on the other side of the kitchen so I can put the dishes away in the cupboard.  There is no competition to see who can do the most, in fact, Princess takes great pride in the fact that she can help her little brother pick out the lightest dishes to carry.

 How do you encourage a sense of unity in your family?


Thanks so much for visiting Supermommy!...Or Not.  Please take a moment to "like" me on facebook"!

 

Two Years Old

He just turned two in May.  He's taken the Terrible Twos to a level I never knew existed.  (To all other mothers of Terrible Twos, I owe you an apology for accusing you of exaggerating when Princess was two)

 He is sweet and loving and adores his John Deere blankets.  He takes such good care of the baby doll he borrowed from Princess that it melts my heart.  He loves to give hugs and kisses.  He'll wave and say hi to anyone we meet (unless he's in one of those "two year old" moods).

He's not a morning person.  He wakes up ready for a nap and proves it by whining and throwing fits all morning.  He recently has come under the impression that he no longer needs naps.  He's sadly mistaken.  He'll ask me for something and, when I give it to him, he'll throw a fit for the next 1/2 hour.

 He could live outside and loves to ride his Bigwheel at break-neck speeds up and down our porch.  He begs to take rides in the van, and once in the van, begs to go up and down hills.  Luckily for him, we live in a very hilly town.  His favorite part of shopping is riding in a cart.  He adores tractors, but is afraid to go near them if they're turned on. ("Owie ears, Mama!)  

He sings all day long and loves to identify the different instruments when we're listening to a cd.  His favorite movies are Barney (Barney sings a lot) and bluegrass concert dvds.  He has a sense of humor and loves to play tricks.  He's a typical little brother who picks on his big sister just to annoy her and make her scream.

Source: granvillehouse.blogspot.com via Hannah on Pinterest

Little man is two and a mess of contradictions, but I couldn't ask for a sweeter little boy.

Things I Never Thought I'd Say

"Don't spit in your aunt's pocket."

"Stay off the roof."

"Stop licking the grocery cart."

"No, we are not going to put a hairbow in your brother's hair for church."

"Hands don't go in the toilet."

"Don't use your fork to comb your hair."

"Peel your banana before you eat it."

"If you're hungry, I'll get you a snack.  Just please stop eating your boogers."

"Why are there cornflakes in your shoe?"

"No, no, no.  Take your old underwear off before you put the new ones on."

"Take your meat out of your ear."

"Please stop throwing yourself against the wall."

"If you can't keep your hands to yourself, I'm going to take them away!"

What strange things do you find yourself saying? 

This post is linked up Growing Up Geeky!


Thanks so much for visiting Supermommy!...Or Not.  Please take a moment to "like" me on facebook"!  

A Miracle

I haven't written much about this because it's so frustrating for me and because so many people don't understand the seriousness of the issue, but Little Man is an impossible eater.  Or technically, a non-eater.  I wrote about his issues with breastfeeding here.  His eating hasn't improved since then.  Before his doctor recommended that I give him Pediasure every day, he was losing weight because he just wouldn't eat.  For a period of over 6 months, he would literally scream when I gave him a plate of food because he did not want it.  His doctor ran allergy tests, tests on his blood, etc, but couldn't find a reasons for Little Man's aversion to food.

When I try telling people about Little Man's eating problems, they often tell me that he's just a picky eater and he'll outgrow it eventually.  Princess is a picky eater.  I was a picky eater (still kind of am).  Little Man is not just a picky eater.  He simply does not care for eating, at all.  My mom told me that her dad was the same way when he was young.  He was super skinny as a child and refused any type of food until one day he ate Wheaties cereal at a friend's house and discovered he actually liked them.  After that, his mother always kept Wheaties in the house.  My grandpa still eats Wheaties almost every day.

It's been over 6 months since Little Man has willingly put a vegetable in his mouth besides potatoes (and he'll only eat those when we're at Grandma's house).  Fruit is iffy on most days too.  At almost every meal, I offer Little Man fruits and vegetables, but I usually end up throwing them away, along with most or all of his other food.

But yesterday...Little Man had spinach.  He gobbled it up and begged for more.  I almost cried at the miracle I'd just witnessed!  To be honest, there may have been some trickery involved though.  You see, the 8 month old I babysit eats baby food that comes in handy little pouches.  Little Man was sitting beside me while I fed the baby and actually asked for a bite.  I nearly fell off my chair and then I had an idea.  Twisting the cap off of a fresh pouch of pears and spinach, I handed the whole thing over to Little Man who eagerly sucked down the whole pouch and begged for more.    

Gerber 2nd Foods Organic Baby Food, Pear Spinach, 3.5-Ounce Pouches (Pack of 6)

I think I may have discovered Little Man's new snack.  I do intend to keep offering him vegetables and fruit in traditional form, but this is one way to get the vitamins and minerals he needs in the meantime.

A Letter To My Children

Dear Princess and Little Man,
I love both of you more than I can ever tell you.  I would sacrifice anything for you.  I love to hear your precious little voices and be on the receiving end of one of your "just because" hugs.

With that being said...

You should know that Mommy is not going to share her food with you.  Period.  You have your own food and I have mine.  Mommy is pregnant and hungry, and there is a chance someone will lose a finger next time a slobbery, sticky little hand reaches for my plate of food that I've been looking forward to eating all day.  So please just stop asking for a bite.  Because we both know that one bite turns into two and before anyone knows it, you've eaten more of my food than I have.  And that's just not okay right now.  Mommy is a bit (ok, excessively) hormonal at this time and the thought of one of you eating my food can bring me to tears quite quickly.  In case you haven't noticed, Daddy eats food too and I'm sure he'd be more than happy to share his with you.  And his always tastes better than mine.

With all my love (but none of my food),

Mommy

Toddler = Puppy?

I'm made some observations over the last few years of motherhood about toddlers.   The most interesting observation?  Having a toddler in the house is like having a puppy.  Really.  Think about it...  

1. They're both adorable and steal your heart.
.
.
. 
You can read an updated version of this post here on my new blog, Sunshine and Spoons! I hope to see you there!

Chores for Children

I know I'm not supposed to admit this, but I can't wait for my kids to get old enough to clean the house.  I've already planned out the delegating of certain jobs for when they are old enough to handle them.  I would love to not be the only one cleaning around here.  To be honest, I kind of feel like Cinderella most days except that I already met my Prince Charming and he leaves dirty dishes on the couch and socks on the bathroom floor.  I read somewhere that husbands create 7 extra hours of cleaning a week.  To which I laughed and said, "only 7 hours?"

But there are other reasons I want my kids to help out around the house.  Doing chores teaches them responsibility and it encourages strong family ties (we're a family and we work together to help each other).

I started teaching my kids to pitch in before they were even a year old.  I would encourage them to help me put the toys back into the box as soon as they were old enough to understand the concept of picking something up and putting it in something else.

Little Man is almost two now, and he cheerfully sings the clean-up song while putting toys back in the appropriate place.  He throws things in the garbage for me (sometimes without my blessing), puts shoes by the door, and helps put silverware away in the drawer (I just wish he'd wait until they're clean).  Of course, it helps that he loves to copy his big sister.

Princess turned four in January and she has regular chores she helps with.  Sometimes she needs a pep talk or the threat of a time-out if she doesn't do as she's told, but she always ends up doing them.  She helps me put the clean dishes away, folds washcloths, puts away her clean underwear and socks, helps me clear and wash the table after meals, and puts dirty clothes in the laundry basket.  When I'm cleaning house, I expect her to be at my side or readily available to help me if I ask her.  She also knows that she has to clean up after herself.  If she spills her milk at lunchtime, she goes over to the drawer to get a towel and takes care of it.  

So what can you expect your child to be able to handle?  Here are a few suggestions:

1-2 years old:

• Pick up toys.
• Simple helpful tasks such as getting a clean diaper, throwing garbage away, etc.

2-4 years old:

• Clear their own dishes after meals.
• Put some of their laundry away (I keep Princess's socks and underwear in boxes so it's easy for her to put them away in the proper place).
• Be Mommy's helper when Mommy's cleaning house.

4-5 years old:

• Dust furniture.
• Wipe down kitchen table and bathroom counter with a wet rag (don't let a child this young use dangerous chemical cleaners).
• Make bed.

5-6 years old:

• Can do more chores without close supervision.
• Wash dishes (leaving the pots and pans or tough-to-clean dishes for Mommy).
• Help fold laundry and put away.

And Yet, I'm Still Laughing

This has been one of those days that just screams for a blog posting.

It all started with naptime.

Due to his night shift job, Hubby was sleeping in the kids' room (with only one window looking out underneath the upstairs deck, it's the darkest room in the house), I had to do my usual musical beds routine to coordinate naptime for the two tired kidlets.  I pushed and shoved until the pack n' play was securely wedged between the shower and the changing table in the bathroom.  Having learned my lesson last time when I went to get Little Man up from his nap and found all of his clean diapers crumpled in the pack n' play and the remainder of the roll of toilet paper shredded on the floor, I removed everything within arm's reach of the pack n' play and tucked him in.

Next, I herded my whining daughter into my room to lay down on my bed.  Cleaning off my nightstand, I went over the rules with her.

"Don't get out of bed"
"Don't touch my jewelry"
"Don't touch Daddy's nightstand or Mommy's nightstand"

Each of these rules originated with previous mishaps on Princess's part that led to: a call to Poison Control to find out if Tums are dangerous in large quantities, scrubbing of the wall when little vaseline handprints were discovered, and several losses of my jewelry (always my favorite pieces, of course).

Princess settled in pretty quickly and I could hear her quietly playing with her dolls, but Little Man decided that he simply wasn't napping today and proceeded to scream at the top of his lungs.  Have I mentioned that the bathroom is right across the hall from where Hubby was sleeping?

A few minutes later, I heard the door to the kids' room creak open and Hubby sleepily stumbled out.  Great.

He laid back down 15 minutes later, but the damage was already done.

Little Man continued his caterwauling for over 1/2 hour before finally settling down.  I could hear him talking to himself, but didn't think much of it.

Then, Princess came out of my room to tell me that she had to use the bathroom.  As Little Man was "napping" in the bathroom, I trundled her upstairs to our landlady's bathroom.  It was there that I noticed something in Princess's mouth.  After determining it to be a Tums, I tore back down to my room to see how many she'd eaten.  Let me just stop here a moment to say that the bottle of Tums had been stashed up and out of sight.  The jumbo sized, just-opened bottle.  Which Princess had filled with water.  I'm still not sure where she got the water which worries me a bit.  So the Tums went in the garbage and Princess went in the doghouse with a longish lecture on the dangers of eating medicine and ruining $7 worth of Tums.

At this point I decided to check on Little Man in the bathroom and was greeted with baby powder.  All over the pack n' play.  And the worst part?  I still haven't found the bottle.

Okay, clean up the mess, hand out snacks, and send the kids out to play where they can't get in trouble.

Ha!

My landlady informed me a short time later that she had just caught Princess climbing on the roof of the porch.  Because of a retaining wall area in our yard, the porch roof is easily accessed in one spot from the back yard.  Apparently, Little Man was right behind her.  Visions of broken bones, stitches, and ER visits danced in my head.  After directing the kids to head downstairs and stay inside for a while, I stayed upstairs to chat with our landlady for a few minutes.  Literally...just a few minutes.  That's all it took.  Apparently, the kiddos sneaked right back outside to play with the dog.  As I came back downstairs, I was met with a frantic Princess who gasped that Little Man was out on the gravel road that runs by our house.  I ran outside, but didn't see him anywhere so was a bit skeptical.  That is, until I walked down the road a ways and finally caught a glimpse of a little boy running down the road as fast as his little legs could take him.  If we'd been in town, he would've been several blocks away.  How he moved so fast, I will never know.  How I moved so fast to catch him, I will never know.  

During the time it took me to write this blog post, I broke up 4 fights, picked up a whole box of pins that Little Man dumped out, cleaned up a puddle of water on the floor, and caught Princess stealing my fabric to play with.

This has been one of those days that I would usually add to my "I will laugh about this in a few years" list.  But you know what, after the immediate panic and/or anger faded, I'm already laughing.  And I'm sure Hubby was laughing when he saw me running down the road after Little Man.  I am SO glad no one chose that moment to drive by...

A Big Announcement

See these two great big cheesy grins?

They're grinning because they've been keeping a secret from you.

Actually, to tell the truth, I've been keeping the secret.  They just found out about it a few days ago, which is why they're smiling so big.

See that little guy in the doll stroller?  He's going to be a big brother.

Princess is determined that it's going to be a baby sister because according to her, "girl babies are better."  Little Man really doesn't get what's going on yet, but I think he'll catch on eventually.  Probably around the same time the baby gets here.

Speaking of which, I'm due September 16th.  In our extended families, we have 5 birthdays and 3 anniversaries in September, most of which are right around my due date.  Should be interesting to see if this baby picks one of those days for his or her birthday or prefers his or her very own birthday.

I have been feeling...awful.  Very tired, very nauseous (Morning sickness is a myth!  Call it what it is: All-day sickness!), very cranky, very happy, very scared, very everything.  I've had to cut down on the numbers of orders I take for the boutique because I barely have the energy to take care of the kids, let alone do anything extra.  Besides, every time I move around, I get more nauseous.

My 10 week checkup was a few days ago and, although the doctor thought it would be too early, she still found the baby's heartbeat within only a few seconds!  Exciting stuff!

Confessions

Random confessions:

1. Sometimes I re-read my old blog posts.  Because I'm that self-absorbed.

2. When I tell Princess that she can get up from her rest time in 5 minutes, what I really mean is that she can get up when I'm done watching the episode of House on Netflix.

3. I cheat at Candyland so it'll be done faster.  Sometimes I win, sometimes I let Princess win, but either way, I'm just trying to get it over with.

4. Rather than spend a whole 48 seconds cutting grapes in half for Little Man, I give Princess twice as many as she should have and tell her to bite half off and give the other half to her brother.

5. I sometimes use the kids' dirty socks they leave laying around the living room to do a quick dusting of the coffee table.

6. When I'm too tired/lazy to make two separate meals for supper (with Princess's food allergies, it's pretty rare when she can actually eat the same thing the rest of us do), I let Princess have a bowl of cereal instead.

7. Sometimes I leave the clean towels in the laundry basket for a while, hoping they'll be used up before I have to fold them and put them away.

8. I believe in letting kids handle disagreements with each other themselves instead of stepping in to referee every time.  But sometimes, I just tell myself that to make myself feel better about sitting on the couch trying to ignore the yelling.

9. I don't floss.  I haven't been to a dentist since I was a teenager.  I would rather have my teeth pulled out than do either of those things.  And, I have never had a cavity in my life.

10. I encourage Little Man to play with dolls when Hubby isn't around.  I figure that the worst that could happen is that he will grow up to be a sensitive guy who will know how to take care of his own kids.

What are some of your confessions?

How I Messed Up Christmas & Why I'm Glad I Did

Typical girl, Princess was excited to receive clothes as gifts. 

We have 11 nieces and nephews to buy for at Christmas.  In the craziness of making and buying all those gifts, I thought I had gone overboard on my kids' Christmas gifts.  I was feeling a little guilty about buying my kids so many gifts until Christmas day.  We let the kids look in their stockings before church at 10 am, but we didn't open gifts until that evening, after naps. 

More clothes!

 That evening, we sat on the floor by the Christmas tree and listened as Hubby read the Christmas story from Luke 2.  When that was done, I dug the kids' gifts out from under the tree (we hadn't celebrated Christmas with either side of the family yet so there were lots of presents under the tree yet) and passed them out.  There were four small packages for each child.  Hubby looked at the rather meager offerings and asked with a frown on his face, "Is that all you got them?"  I rummaged around under the tree again, but came up emptyhanded.  "I guess so."  I said, puzzled, as I was still sure I'd gone overboard on gifts.

Little Man really got into it, as you can see by his excited expression.

The kids eagerly tore into their presents.  Actually, Princess tore into hers.  Little Man poked a hole in one of his, realized that there was something in there that played music, and sat there pressing the button through the hole over and over until I "helped" him finish opening his gifts.  

Finally got a smile!

When all was said and done, they had each received two shirts (one from Baby Bug Boutique and one from Little Towheads), one book from Barefoot Books, and one small toy. 

We gave Little Man this toy cell phone.  Less than $10 at Target since it was on sale.

Princess received this toy microphone.  Also on sale at Target and I think I paid under $10 for it. 

At first, I felt bad.  Weren't we supposed to give our kids a ton of new toys to unwrap at Christmas?  Clothes and books were just supposed to be "extra" gifts, right? 

But then I saw how thrilled Princess and Little Man were with their new toys.  And I remembered last Christmas when they each got 5 or 6 toys to unwrap and how they didn't really play with any of them very much.  It's been four days since Christmas, and they're both still carrying around their toys and playing with them all day.  Neither child has said anything about how stingy Hubby and I (ok, just me since I do all the shopping) were with their gifts this year. 

A realization struck me.  I don't have to give my kids so many toys that they don't know what to play with just because so many other parents do.  And besides, we have a lot of relatives which means a lot of other gifts for the kidlets. 

So yes, I messed up Christmas because I didn't buy my kids as many gifts as I had planned.  And it was the best mistake ever.

Little Man

When Princess was a baby, I thought she was difficult.  Several things contributed to this belief.  One being that it was such a huge "culture shock" if you will, to go from life being all about me and Hubby to being all about this tiny screaming baby.  Another was because Princess had problems breastfeeding.  Another  was the traumatic labor and delivery that took almost two months and a lot of pain pills to fully recover from.  The biggest was the post partum depression that I didn't even recognize as such until someone pointed it out to me later.

I survived and when Princess was two years old, she was blessed with a baby brother.

And he made her look like a perfectly angelic baby.

He was born screaming, which most babies are, but his was a different scream.  It was an angry scream that even took the doctor by surprise.  Especially when he didn't stop.  When I tried breastfeeding him, he almost turned blue from screaming so hard.  The experienced lactation consultant who came to help me figure out how to feed this baby boy was amazed at how violently opposed to nursing he was.  Extremely frustrated, she finally left my hospital room with a parting, "I don't know what to tell you, but good luck."

The first night in the hospital after Little Man was born, Hubby and I sent him to the nursery so we could get some much needed sleep.  The next morning, I awoke to the sound of a baby screaming so hard that I'm surprised the poor thing was still conscious.  As I came out of my groggy state, I recognized the scream (not cry) and nudged Hubby.  "That's our baby.  You better go get him." 
Hubby looked at me in disbelief.  "That has to be another baby in a room close to ours.  We wouldn't be able to hear ours so well since he's in the nursery."
Nonetheless, I sent Hubby down to the nursery to bring back Little Man and sure enough, I was right.

At this point, I thought about asking the hospital what their return policy was for babies.  I refrained.

When we brought Little Man home, things didn't exactly improve.  It took almost a month to figure out that the only way to get him to sleep was to swaddle him so tightly that he couldn't move a muscle, throw a light blanket over his eyes, give him a pacifier, and bounce on an exercise ball until he finally stopped fighting and screaming and fell asleep an hour and a half later.  Due to the amount of sleep new babies need, I spent most of my day bouncing relentlessly.  His only redemption was that starting at 5 weeks old, after I'd gotten him to fall asleep at night, he would then stay asleep in his crib all night.  I really looked forward to bedtime. 

The breastfeeding situation didn't improve either.  Because he refused to nurse (still screaming the whole time) my milk supply decreased.  When he was 3 1/2 months old, a nasty bout of mastitis put an end to breastfeeding and I reluctantly decided to bottlefeed.  I was pretty bummed about it at first, but as you can see by the pictures, it was obvious that Little Man wasn't getting enough to eat from nursing and, once that stressful issue was over, things got a little bit better.

Little Man at 3 months old when he was still breastfeeding.  Scrawny little thing, but he still had those kissable, squishable cheeks!

Little Man at 4 months old a few weeks after we switched to bottles.

Around 4 months old, Little Man finally fell asleep in the infant swing.  I had swaddled him, given him his pacifier, covered his face with a blanket and bounced him for almost three hours and he was still screaming.  Finally, I put him in the swing (still swaddled), turned it on, and went outside to get some air before I lost it.  When I came back inside 10 minutes later, he was sleeping.  I was so happy, I cried and I might have also kissed the swing.  Maybe.  After that, I was able to swaddle Little Man, give him a pacifier, and put him in the swing to fall asleep.  I got several lectures from well-meaning friends about how I was teaching him to be dependent on the swing for sleep.  I didn't care.  If I had to special order a swing that would still fit him in kindergarten, I didn't care.  He was sleeping.

Between 4 and 5 months old, Little Man slowly started to improve.  By 6 months old, he was the easiest baby ever and a joy to have around.  It was like he'd had a complete personality change and I was finally able to enjoy being his mommy.

If you are struggling with a colicky baby, have hope.  It will end eventually.    

One of Those Days

You know it's going to be a bad day when you go to the silverware drawer to get a spoon to stir your hot chai latte with and the drawer is empty.  So you go to the dishwasher and dig through the (thankfully) clean silverware caddy and still no spoon.  When you give up on real silverware and open the closet to find a plastic spoon, the whole shelf full of paper plates, styrofoam cups, plastic silverware, and assorted loose napkins falls on your head. 

Yup.  It's one of those days. 

Stranger Danger?

About six months ago, my previously outgoing daughter hit a new phase called "shyness".  I soon perceived that it was something she was doing for attention and it was working.  Then I realized how rude her behavior really was.  I expect my children to respect others and use good manners.  That means acknowledging when someone is speaking to you, looking them in the eye, and replying.  Not fake-screaming and running behind Mommy to hide.  And of course, every time she did this, the person trying to speak to her (often someone we know well) would laugh and ask her if she was shy.  Yup.  Thanks for giving my impressionable child a label to live up to.  So, using the same tactic my mom had used on my little sister when she was young, I used every opportunity to assure Princess that she wasn't really shy and that she was just pretending.  Pretending is okay sometimes, but you still need to be polite and use good manners when someone is talking to you.  When someone would label her as shy in front of her, I'd pull (wrestle!) her out in front of me and tell them that she most definitely was not shy.  After about a month, she was "cured" of her affliction.

Warning: I'm about to go off on a small tangent that really has nothing to do with this story, but is oh-so-helpful to know.

Kids will become whatever you tell them they are.  People told Princess that she was shy so she became shy until I told her that she was not shy at which point she turned into an outgoing child.  I've also noticed that when I tell Princess that she's such a good big sister and great helper, she tries even harder to be so.  So, if you want your child to be obedient, tell them how good they are.  If you want your child to be disobedient and disrepectful, tell him or her how naughty they are.  

Okay....back to the issue at hand.


I was so proud of Princess's progress until I realized that I've created a new problem.  She will now go up to a complete stranger and start telling them all about her life, our family life, where we live, what we drive, etc.  Thankfully, she doesn't have our social security numbers memorized yet.

I told her that it wasn't safe to talk to strangers.  Her response?
"That's okay, Mommy.  First I'll tell them my name and then I'll ask them their name.  Than they won't be a stranger and I can talk to them!"

I don't want her to be afraid to talk to people, including people she doesn't know very well, but she obviously needs to learn the line between too much and not enough.  How do I teach her that without turning her back into a shy child who won't even look at a close friend, let alone talk to them?  How do I teach her to look for me for guidance on who she can open up to and who just needs a simple hello or thank you?

Advice please!!! 

Priceless Treasure

Imagine that one day, God reaches down from heaven and gives you a treasure.  Not just any little old treasure, but a treasure that will make you richer than the richest man in the world.  A treasure that is so great that its value is unfathomable.  This treasure will drastically change your life.

What would your reaction be?  Would you try to give it back?  Would you ask God to take it back because you're not ready for the responsibility of being the steward of this treasure?  Would you tell Him that it's too heavy for you to carry and you don't really want it because it will become a burden? 

Or would you happily accept this priceless treasure with joy in your heart, knowing that, if God gives it to you, He will also help you care for it?

Psalm 127:3-5 "Behold, children are a gift from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."

I've spoken to a lot of people who don't want more than one or two children.  I understand that God gives some people a desire for a small family and others a desire for a larger family, but the reasons given for wanting a small family are often selfish reasons.  One of the reasons I hear most is financial strain.  They say they can't afford more kids.  Not a single person I've heard use this reason is anywhere near poverty.  If they have another child, it will not mean rationing food and worrying about becoming homeless.   What it does mean is no new electronic toys this year.  It means shopping at thrift stores instead of department stores for clothes and toys.  It means driving a used vehicle instead of a new one or not trading up your vehicle for a newer model.  But would you rather have a worldly "blessing" or a God-given one?

It saddens me when I see a parent being asked whether they plan to have more children and answering with an incredulous laugh.  They eye their children from across the room and reply that the ones they have are more than enough.  Hopefully, their children don't ever hear them respond in that way.  How do you think it makes the child feel to hear that their parents see them as so much work, so much trouble, that they don't want any more kids like them?

I'm not saying that everyone should have a large family.  Obviously, God has a different plan for each family.  What I'm saying is that we need to stop using selfish excuses to turn down blessings from God.  Children are not a burden.  They are a precious gift. 

A Few Moments of Peace

As I finish pouring milk for the kids' supper, I realize it's been over 8 hours since I last visited a bathroom.  Noting their content expressions as they munch on their food, I decide that now would be a good time to make a trip.

I close the bathroom door.  I don't lock it.  That would just be silly, right?

I haven't stepped one foot away from the door when there's a little knock.

Princess: "Mommy!  Mommy!"

Me: *Sigh* "What do you need?"

Princess: "I need you!!"

Me: "Right now?!?!"

Princess: " Yes, I need to tell you something."

Me: *Realizes that she's not going anywhere until I hear her out* "What do you need to tell me?"

Princess: *Thoughtful silence* "Ummmmmmmmmmmmm....."

Me: "Can it wait until I'm at least out of the bathroom?"

Princess: *Horrified as if she thinks I plan on spending the rest of the week hiding in the bathroom.  It's a nice thought, actually* "No!  I need to tell you now!"

Me: *Reluctantly* "Okay, what is it then?"

Princess: "Ummmmmmmmm.....ummmmmmmmmm.......ummmmmmmmmmm....did you know that if your head falls off, it will hurt?!?"

Me: *Slightly sarcastic tone which goes right over Princess's head* "No, really?"

Princess: *Lets herself into the bathroom so I can hear the gruesome facts a little better.  Thankfully, by this time, I'm heading to the sink to wash my hands, eliminating all those awkward questions* "And did you know that it will bounce on the floor?!?!?"

Me: "Yup.  I did.  Now go finish your supper." 

Sigh.  So much for a few moments of peace.