When I say or do something that Little Man doesn't like (i.e. tickle him when he's done playing), he'll cry out, "You hurt my feelings!"
I found a Piddle Pad at Goodwill the other day for a dollar and snatched it up. I hadn't put it away yet when I saw Princess laying on her stomach on the floor with the Piddle Pad on her head.
"Why are you wearing that on your head?" I asked.
"Because it wanted to be on my head." was her reply.
I almost died laughing when Princess asked if she could watch "Diarrhea Princess". What she was really asking to watch was Princess Diaries.
Little Man: "Mommy, can I have my scissors?"
Me: "Yes, but before I give them to you, what are you going to cut up?"
Little Man: "Oh, nothing."
Me (instantly suspicious): "Really? So what are you going to do with them?"
Little Man (nonchalantly): "Just cut the lid off that black thing in the kitchen. That's all."
Me: "Oh, you mean cut the lid off the canister of raisins I just got done telling you that you couldn't have, right?"
Little Man (still nonchalant): "Yup. That's all. Can I have my scissors?"
Me: "I appreciate your honesty, but no."
All the back-to-school pictures I saw from my friends on Facebook had happy, smiling children posing with new backpacks. This is what I got while we were waiting for the bus.
Way to break your mom's heart, kid...
The bus shed forgot to call us that morning to tell us that they were changing the bus route. Instead of stopping at 7:10 like we were originally told, the bus came at 7:45. We spent almost an hour total waiting outside for the bus. And then, when it finally came, it drove right past us and went to my in-laws' house because most people don't know about that a second family with the same last name lives on our road. What a wonderful start to the school year...