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Thursday, June 7, 2012

You're Having HOW Many Kids?!?

I'm expecting my third child in September, in case my weekly (or biweekly, lately) pregnancy updates didn't clue you in on that.  With my first two, there was a lot of excitement even from total strangers.  Especially when I announced that baby #2 was a boy.  I always cringed a little when I told people that because I knew what was coming next...
"Now you'll have a girl and a boy!  Your family will be complete."
"One of each?  That's so great for you!  You've got the perfect family."

The "Perfect" Family

Which was just as bad as what my sister heard when she gave birth to her third baby, a little girl, who joined two big brothers at home...
"Congratulations, you've got your girl!  Now you can quit!"
"I bet you're glad to have a girl to complete your family."

Just for the record, Hubby and I were, in fact, done growing our family after baby #2 was born.  I wasn't 100% on board with that because I've always wanted a large family, but I got to the point where I was okay with it.  But then God blessed us with just one more.

Even so, the comments I received when expecting Little Man irritated me.  Why did people automatically assume that, just because we had one of each, that we were done?  Most of the congratulations I received at that time were related to that fact.  Why did all these people think that they got to decide when MY family was perfect?

Now that baby #3 is on the way, I've had some mixed reactions from people.  Some are truly happy that another blessing is joining our family.  Others...not so much.  Because, you know, we're ruining our perfect family.  I almost feel like I need to love this baby twice as much to make up for the negativity surrounding his or her impending arrival.  Guess what?  Just because this baby was preceded by two siblings does NOT make him any less special or important.

I've especially been appalled with the reactions my sister and her husband have received about their family.  They have three beautiful children and would like to have more.  But rather than see what blessings children are, most people condemn them for their choice.  The most common question is "How are they planning to support all those kids?"

Well, first of all, that's nobody's business but my sister and her husband's.  Most people don't go around asking others how they're going to manage to pay for that new car or make mortgage payments.

Second of all, it's not actually as expensive to raise children as everyone thinks it is.  Yes, it costs money to feed and clothe them, but there are SO many ways to cut costs and it's the first boy and the first girl who are the most expensive because you're starting from scratch.

Just for the record, my sister is not expecting right now, but I have the perfect shirt for next time she announces a little addition to their family...

"Yes I am Pregnant!  Yes I know what causes it!  We will decide when we have enough." from CustomTeesForTots on Etsy

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  1. Love the shirt! I have 7 kids so you can imagine the comments I get! I had a doctor ask me once if I knew what was causing it...the nerve! And of course I get the comments about, "wow you got your hands full".
    I saw a quote once that I always think of in those situations...'You think my hands are full, you should see my heart.' So true! Children are such blessings!!
    (btw, found your blog on pinterest)

    1. I grew up with 4 siblings so I heard a few comments in my day too :) I LOVE that quote!

  2. I have twins, a boy and a girl - I get that ALL.THE.TIME. Really? I always think of those poor families who have two girls or two boys - it must so horrible to go to bed at night with an "unperfect" family. Whatever. People need to get over themselves and their "opinions" and just cherish what they have. Well written.

    1. When my sister gave birth to her second child and second boy, more than one person elicited sympathy over that. I thought it was so terribly sad that my precious baby nephew's birth wasn't always seen as a blessing. To make things worse, my sister was told she was having a girl and she got all the "perfect family" comments before he was born.

  3. Great post and so is the T Shirt. My perfect family is perfect for me no matter how many children and no matter their genders.

  4. Love this post (I know, I'm a little late getting to it). I'm due w/#4 in June and we've received grief about it. It drives me nuts when people ask if this little one was an accident. No! We weren't necessarily planning him/her, but we weren't preventing it either. We know what we're doing and I'm thrilled and feel beyond blessed. I never cease to be amazed how entitled people feel to share their opinions!

    1. My sister who I wrote about in this post is expecting her 4th as well now (congratulations on another blessing, btw!) and people's reactions, even those at church, are really appalling.


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