31 Days-Day 4

I'd love to see your before and after pictures during this 31 day process of cleaning your home!  Come on over to my facebook page and share them :) 

The task for today was to spend 30 minutes in the weekly zone.  I know I spent more than 1/2 hour in the kidlets' room, but it looks so much better.  I sat down in the doorway with a garbage bag on one side of me and an empty box on the other and just bulldozed my way quickly through the whole room.  Every time I came to something that went in a different room of the house, I tossed it in the empty box.  I even emptied the box when I was done and put everything away in its proper place.  I know how I "work" and if I hadn't done it right away, it would probably be sitting there two months from now still waiting to be done.

The kids' floor is cleaned up except for the veritable mountain of clothes waiting to be either put away in drawers or packed up to be passed on to the next child who needs it.  My sister insists (the nerve!) on sending the clothes that her little boy outgrows straight home with me, and I've been throwing the random boxes and bags into the kids' room without organizing any of it.  Oops.  My youngest nephew is only 11 days older than Little Man, but he's in 2T while Little Man is in that awkward, nothing fits stage between 12 and 18 months.

Yes, I know.  It's bad.  But you should see how great the rest of the room looks!  I'll post "after" pictures when we move onto the next weekly zone.

While cleaning the toys and books out from underneath Princess's bed, I found an open package of chocolate flavored instant pudding.  Let me tell you, that stuff is NOT fun to clean up.  When I went into the kitchen to get a wet washcloth for the sticky stuff, I found Princess and Little Man sitting on the kitchen floor with nothing on but their skivvies.  Princess was in the process of removing her brother's poopy diaper.  I shudder to think what would have happened had I waited a few more minutes to go into the kitchen.  Disaster averted, I impressed upon Princess the importance of how ONLY mommies and daddies can change dirty diapers (and in our house, it's ONLY mommies who do that). 

I'm sure this has something to do with living in a basement and the kids' room having only one small window with a view of under the upstairs deck, but mold tends to flourish in the kids' room.  We've cleaned mold off the wall beneath the window several times and as of right now, it hasn't grown back.  Yet their room stills smells musty and moldy.  I've checked every nook and cranny and I can't find anything in there that's moldy.  This is especially concerning as Princess has an allergy to mold that makes her asthma and overall health significantly worse.  She spent her first year and a half constantly sick with colds until we found the mold growing on the wall and cleaned it off.  She's not sick now, but her asthma has been really bad the last few months.  I'm also worried about Little Man being exposed to mold as it can make even a healthy person sick.  Anyone have any tips or had to deal with something like this before?

31 Days-Day 3

It's Monday today!!  In case you didn't know that already.

How many of you did your morning and Monday routines today?

I finished my morning routine by 8:30 am.  I have to confess that I don't do everything on the list though.  Two of the tasks near the bottom of the list ("Do sit-ups/10 min. exercise" and "Quick clean of kids' room") go unchecked every day.  About 2 weeks ago, I pinched a disc in my back, and lifting kids and doing housework has slowed the healing process considerably.  I figured that vigorous exercise probably wouldn't help things move in the right direction so I've been holding off on that until next week.  That, and I have a tendency to be lazy.  So please don't tell me how exercise will make my back feel so much better because I'm obliviously happy in my ignorance.

I'm also skipping the quick clean of the kids' room until next week.  With the condition their room is in right now, a quick clean is a preposterous idea.  After this week though, I'll have deep cleaned it, and it'll be ready to go.

I forgot to tell you yesterday...I don't do any zone cleaning on Mondays because I spend an hour "blessing" my home.  I'd hate to overdo it on the cleaning because of all the dangers involved (dishpan hands, housewife's knees, etc).  If you already did some zone cleaning in Zone 1, give yourself a pat on the back because you're ahead of the game.

By 9:30 this morning, all my cleaning was done for the day except for my bedtime routine.  Pretty cool, huh?

I added another page to my control journal today.  I write out a list of miscellaneous things I need to do every day because if I don't, then I forget to do them.  Except that I usually lose the piece of paper the list is written on.  So I put a blank piece of paper in a page protector and added it to my journal between the morning and bedtime routines.  Then I can just write my to-do list in dry erase marker on the page and erase each thing as I do it.  If I don't get to something today, it'll be on the list for tomorrow. 

Look at that!  I can cross "Blog" off my list in a few minutes!  Just to clarify a few things...I buy packages of bacon when it's on sale and then cook a bunch at one time and freeze it so I have ready-to-go bacon bits anytime I want to add them to something.  And "Tuna" is the name of my cat.  I did not take a can of tuna fish to the vet's office. 

 Today was also the day to plan out my menu for the rest of the week.  I take our schedule into consideration when I plan this.  For instance, on Wednesday evenings, we go to a Bible study and prayer meeting at church so I pick something easy to make that day.  On Fridays, we eat supper with Hubby's parents, and his brother and his family.  Sundays, we eat dinner after church at Hubby's parents' place again and have leftovers for supper.  Yes, I know.  My mother-in-law cooks meals for us twice a week...minimum.  I have it "made in the shade".

Here's my meal plan for the week:
Monday-grilled cabbage, potatoes, and lemon chicken with lemon cheesecake for dessert
Tuesday-stuffing coated chicken with honey mustard potatoes
Wednesday-Homemade stuffed crust pizza with cheesy breadsticks
Thursday-O' Brien kielbasa skillet
Friday-Eating at in-laws
Saturday-Bacon chicken alfredo
Sunday-Eating at in-laws

I might switch a few meals around to different days, but it helps tremendously to have a plan.  I can hit the grocery store up once on Monday, and we don't have to eat frozen pizza four times a week because I didn't start thinking of what to make for supper until everyone's tummies were rumbling.

This is the cookbook I'm picking recipes out of this month.  I went through the cookbook and marked all the recipes I want to try.  I choose a few each week to try, and then I decide whether to keep the recipe or nix it.  When I've gotten through the whole cookbook, I'll save the recipes I like in a three-ring binder and get rid of the cookbook.  I have a cupboard full of cookbooks so by doing this, I'm also decluttering.

What are you planning for meals this week?  Let me know in the comments and if you have a blog post about it, post a link to it as well.  I'd love to see what you've got planned!

31 Days-Day 2

Normally, Sunday would be my day off from any cleaning other than what is absolutely necessary.  But today, we're going to get a "control journal" set up so we can jump right into cleaning effectively on Monday.  Actually, I've had mine set up for about 2 weeks now so I still get the day off while the rest of you have to work.  Muhahahahahahaha!!!

Sorry.  The evil laugh just takes over sometimes.

This is where I went wrong when I started doing Flylady the first time 3 years ago.  I tried to wing it and didn't have any lists going.  Obviously, I should have known better as I am a very list-oriented person.  I write things on lists that I've already accomplished just so I can cross them off.  I write lists of what lists I need to make.  I briefly considered "List" as a name for my firstborn. 

The following pictures are pages from my control journal.  To make your own journal, you'll need a 3 ring binder, a dry erase marker (to check things off as you do them), and the "shiny" (not matte finish) page protectors.  If you don't have those things on hand, you can improvise with a computer document, hand written lists, dry erase board, etc. until you can get them.  If you click on the pictures to enlarge them, you'll get a better look at what the pages say.

Before you get started, I have 2 disclaimers for you.
Disclaimer #1:  This is my journal.  It works for me, my family, and my schedule.  If you copy it word for word, it probably won't work for you.  Play around with it (as you can see I've done by the crossed off lines here and there) and come up with a plan that will work for you.  I do most of my cleaning in the morning so I can work on my boutique stuff in the afternoon, but go with whatever works best for you.
Disclaimer #2:  I don't own a printer right now and, as I have a love-hate relationship with all printers, I'm okay with that.  However, that means that you have to put up with my messy handwriting and pages.  Let me know if you need anything translated.

The first page in my book is my version of the Flylady commandments.  And yes, I only have 6 on my list. #2 (Don't allow yourself to be sidetracked by the computer) is kind of a biggie for me.  (Ironic, I know)  #6 (Stop being a martyr and start being a servant) means that you need to stop whining about how your family never helps out and makes a bigger mess and just do it yourself.  Before you know it, they'll be pitching in as they follow your example.  And yes, I know from experience that this does work.  The word "servant" is not meant to have a bad connotation.  Think of it as having a servant's heart that joyfully cares for others.  After taking this picture, I added commandment #7 to the list: "Be flexible!" 

I use page dividers between each section of my control journal.

This is my morning routine.  The first thing on the list is the hardest to check off somedays.  Because of Hubby's work and farm schedule, we don't eat supper until 9:30-10:00 most nights so late nights are the norm.  We both get up at 6:30 in the morning so he can get to work.  Six lines up from the bottom, it says "Pick up Hot Spots".  Hot Spots are areas in your home that collect daily clutter.  Mine is my living room coffee table and kitchen table.  Before I started this, you usually couldn't see either table top, but now they're usually pretty empty.  This may look like a long list, but it takes me less than half an hour to finish the whole thing most days.  The first week will take the longest with the daily routines because you're not just maintaining, you're cleaning and decluttering. 

Note that I crossed off several things on the bedtime routine.  Evenings are busy at my house.  At 6 pm, I feed the kidlets, then I play with them and have them in bed by 8:30 at the latest.  As soon as they're in bed, I get supper going for Hubby and me.  Hubby gets home around 9 pm and showers while supper is finishing, or if supper is ready, we eat first (which is always a fun meal when he's just done hog chores).  We spend some time together on the couch discussing our day, watching tv, and just unwinding.  Then it's off to bed.  So the bedtime routine had to be pared down a bit.

I have a different checklist for each day of the week.  Don't be scared...this is the longest one by far.  This is the day, I do a surface cleaning of the whole house in one hour.  Or, in Flylady, terms, a "home blessing hour".  Don't think of it as cleaning your home, think of it as blessing your home and its inhabitants.  When you do this list tomorrow, don't worry about getting things perfect, just make them better.  Set the timer for 10 minutes for each task and stop when the timer goes off.  No pressure!!!  For example, when you vacuum, don't worry about picking things up off the floor first and getting every corner.  Just push that vacuum through each room, hitting the high traffic areas and pushing toys out of the way with it.  This really works for me because Princess is terrified I'll actually vacuum her toys up and rushes to put them away when she sees me with the vacuum cleaner.  With the help of our weekly zones (more about those later), each of the daily lists will soon be a piece of cake.  Don't forget, you can tailor each of these lists to fit your schedule and family the best.

On Tuesday, you'll set the timer for 30 minutes and spend that time working on the weekly zone.  Yes, I know you're still wondering what a "zone" is.  Keep your britches on, we're getting to that.

On Wednesday, toss anything in the fridge that looks questionable (or during this first week, waves at you when you open the door).  If you're feeling ambitious, go ahead and wipe down the shelves and drawers too, but if you're not, that's fine.  You'll get to that later this month. 

Flylady suggests doing a load of laundry (wash, dry, fold, and put away) each day to keep it under control.  I share a washing machine with our landlady, and it's upstairs in her part of the house so a load a day just doesn't work for me.  If you would rather do a load a day than focus on laundry for 1-2 days a week, go for it.  Then, you can either pick another task for this day or just take it easy!  The 27 Fling Boogie is a decluttering technique.  Grab two bags, one for trash and one for donations, and set the timer for 10 minutes.  Than run through the house grabbing 27 items to either throw away or donate.  The time limit prevents you from sitting there rethinking your decision over every item.  Just toss and go for the next one.  If you have a lot of clutter, I'd suggest starting out with the 27 Fling Boogie 2-4 times a week to clear things out faster.  Because I'm a relentless tosser, I can never find 27 things to get rid of so I do my own version of this called "5-10 Fling Boogie"  Doesn't sound as cool, but whatever. 

With a husband who gets very dirty at work and the farm and two kids who not only get their own clothes filthy, but like to include my outfit in the snot-saliva-messy fingers and faces fun, we have about 8-12 loads of laundry a week.  It takes me a full two days to accomplish it.  Like I said though, if you decide to do one load a day versus two days of laundry drudgery, go for it.

If we had a yard that we had to take care of ourselves, I'd work on that on Saturdays.  But our wonderful landlady does all the yard work so I just take a few minutes to clean out the van, my purse and the diaper bag. 

 

Here're those "zones" I was talking about earlier.  These will really help your home sparkle and shine by the end of this month.  Next month, even if things still look clean, do the stuff on the lists anyways.  Remember, our goal is to prevent dirt, not clean it.  Okay, so write down all the rooms/areas of your house.  Include a porch or entryway if you have one.  My list was easy because I only have 5 rooms plus a small hallway.  One of the benefits of having a small house, I guess.  Now group the rooms of your house into five categories, no more, no less.  You'll see why in a minute.

This is a sample of a monthly calendar (and a lovely sample of my computer writing skills which are apparently right up there with my pen and paper handwriting skills).  You'll notice that although there are 4 weeks in a month, there are 5 rows of weeks in a month.  Every month is like this.  Now decide which of your zones will take the most work and time to clean (kitchen and living room usually take more time than other rooms in your house) and put those zones in the middle of the month to ensure that you can spend an entire week on them. 

Next, make a list of each zone.  Zone 1 for me is the kids room and where I'll be working this coming week.  You saw the picture of their room I posted yesterday....if it's Friday and you haven't heard from me all week, please call the authorities to look for me in there.  List the different tasks that it will take to make the room sparkle.  As you can see, I got a little carried away with numbering.  This month will be the hardest because you're starting from scratch, but next month, you'll breeze through everything.  I wrote "change sheets" on the bedroom zones, but I do wash the bedsheets more than once a month.  In case you were wondering.  Every day during this week, you can pick a few things to do off this list and check them off with your dry-erase marker.  When you break it down to small tasks, deep cleaning a room really isn't that big of a deal.  Since I started doing this 1 1/2 weeks ago, most days, I spend less than an hour total cleaning my house.

Zone 2 is the kitchen.  This is where you would wipe down the refrigerator shelves and drawers if you didn't do it on Wednesday.

Zone 3 is the living room and hallway for me.  The living room is decent sized although not terribly' big and it functions as the play "room", computer "room", sewing "room", and tv "room so it's pretty packed.  I finally bit the bullet, fought off the mommy guilt that I was depriving my children of toys and packed half their toys away in a closet in their room.  When I'm working on Zone 3, I rotate the toys so they have "new" toys to play with each month. 

You'll noticed that I crossed a few things off this list.  I already sweep and mop the bathroom floor every Monday when I'm doing my "home blessing hour" so I didn't think I really needed to hit that again.  I also crossed off "sort through cabinets and drawers" because I have a habit of having a mini organizing spree every time I open a drawer or cabinet.  Last week, when I did this list for the first time, I spent all day cleaning my shower curtain.  I washed it in the washing machine twice, trying to get the soap scum off and ended up hand washing every inch of the....*count to 10, breathe deeply*... lovely thing.  If your shower curtain is covered in soap scum as mine was, please save yourself the trouble and throw it away.  Seriously, Walmart sells (brand-new, sparkling clean) shower curtains for under $10.  And if you start off this month with a clean shower curtain, it will never get that bad again.   

Zone 5 for me is the master bedroom.  That makes it sound so...nice and grown-up.  It's not.  It's decorated with bright blue carpet (perfect for showing every speck of lint), bright blue sponged baseball bat shapes? all over the wall, and a brightly colored sports themed border encircling the room on the center of the walls.  Don't forget, we rent, not own.  But I can fool myself into believing it's a serene haven at the end of the day by calling it The Master Bedroom. 

 This is the longest blog post with the most pictures, I've ever written.  I'm feeling a bit faint.  I think I'll go lie down for a bit.  See you tomorrow.

Thanks so much for visiting Supermommy!...Or Not.  Please take a moment to "like" me on facebook"!

31 Days to a Clean House

I stumbled on this fun blog with the challenge to blog for 31 days straight about the same topic.  Because my big thing at this moment is getting my house under control, here's my topic.

This is scary.

I've never blogged 31 days in a row.  Or 7 days in a row.  I think 2 or 3 days in a row is my record right now.  But I'm going to try this because I love a challenge, and what else do I have to do with my time?  You know, besides running an busy boutique from my home and computer, caring for two young children, taking care of dear Hubby, etc.

I recently picked up Flylady again.  I had just started using the Flylady system to clean and maintain my house when I had Princess three years ago.  It's taken me that long to even think about getting back on the horse and in that time, the horse, I mean, house has been in desperate need of some attention.  Which I have neglected to give it.  And it shows.

Using the Flylady system, I'm on track to get my house ship-shape within a month.

Let's start off with some lovely "before" pictures.  Before you scroll down to look at these pictures, I have to warn you.  They may scare you or disgust you.  I'm a little nervous about putting myself so far "out there", but here goes nothing.  Let me remind you that I am not responsible for any therapy you may need after looking at these pictures.
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One more thing before you look at these pictures...my house is considerably cleaner right now than it has been for a long time due to company coming over. Just thought you might want to know that. 

Kitchen counter

End of the hallway between the two bedrooms (note the poor neglected vacuum cleaner)

Princess and Little Man's room complete with Princess reading a book on the floor and wondering why in the world I'm taking a picture of her room.

Computer area.  If you look closely, you will see a can of Pledge languishing on the top shelf of the computer desk next to the lamp.

So there you have it.  By the end of this month, my house should be clean and I should be able to keep it clean.  And if you join in and do what I'm doing, your house will be clean too :)

Let's have some fun!  Feel free to comment with your own progress and ideas!


Here are links to each day of the 31 Day Challenge as I write them.
31 Days-Day 2
31 Days-Day 3
31 Days-Day 4
31 Days-Day 5 
31 Days-Day 6 
31 Days-Day 7 
31 Days-Day 8 
31 Days-Day 9 
31 Days-Day 10 
31 Days-Days 11 & 12 
31 Days-Day 13 
31 Days-Days 14 & 15 
31 Days-Day 16 
31 Days-Days 17 & 18
31 Days-Days 19 & 20 
31 Days-Day 21
31 Days-Day 22 
31 Days-Days 23 & 24 
31 Days-Day 25 
31 Days-Day 26 
31 Days-Days 27 & 28 
31 Days-Day 29 
31 Days-Days 30 & 31

It's So Hard

I often hear people talking about how hard life can be with 1, 2, or 3 little ones.  Parents who have more than that are often looked upon as crazy, and a lot of people think they must be miserable.

Right now, I only have two children.  I have always dreamed of having at least six kids, but Hubby is satisfied with two.  Which means that although sometimes my heart aches for more little ones, I'm committed to our marriage and to Hubby's happiness more than anything.  Personally, I believe that children are a blessing from God, and who am I to turn down a blessing straight from our Heavenly Father?  But God has also commanded me to obey my husband so I'm content with the two precious little ones I have.  (This subject is worthy of its own blog post which will be making an appearance someday)  If God wants us to have more children, He'll make it happen, and if He doesn't, than I'm okay with that. 

What I'm saying is that I know how hard life is with two little ones.  But I have also been given a taste of what life is like with four children.  When I babysit during the school year, I have my own two kids, plus a sweet little boy just a little younger than Princess and a beautiful little girl about two years older than Princess.  Which comes down to caring for a 5 year old, two 3 year olds, and a 1 year old (although the line-up will change when I go back to babysitting in January due to my friend giving birth to a baby boy about a month ago and the 5 year old being in school full time).  And believe it or not, it's easier than just having my two kidlets.  Yes, it takes me a little longer to dish out food for 4 versus two, and there is more bickering, but overall, it's easier.  I especially enjoyed having the other two kids over to my house some afternoons this past year (I generally babysit at the other kids' house four mornings a week otherwise).  The 5 year old and 3 year olds (to an extent) were able to help carry things when we were running errands, all four entertained each other while I worked on sewing things for my boutique, and the 5 year old was especially helpful with the younger ones.

Look at it this way.  Right now, I do pretty much ALL of the housework and care for Princess and Little Man.  But Princess is over 3 1/2 years old now and is able to start helping me more.  She helps put things away when I do laundry, she is able to clean up her toys by herself, she reads to Little Man when I need to get something else done, she is pretty much self-sufficient in the bathroom, and is able to get dressed by herself.  As she continues to grow and mature, I add more little chores to her list and by the time she's in grade school, she'll be able to help with a lot more housework.  This goes for Little Man as well.  He's just 17 months old, but I'm teaching him to clean up toys which is a good start for him.  Unfortunately, I thought it would be a good idea to teach him how to throw things in the garbage for me as well, but that has backfired as now I have to dig through the garbage each night to rescue toys, socks, remote controls, etc.  Whoops.  

When I see someone with a lot of kids, I don't feel sorry for them as many people do.  I'm actually a little jealous.  Because they probably have it easier than I do with my two children. 

Here are some other good blog posts to read about this subject:
Bits and Pieces
One More Soul

"Fan of the Week" Winner!

I recently added a new app to my boutique Facebook page called "Fan of the Week".  The app keeps track of how much people are participating on the page (participating means leaving comments, liking wall posts, etc) and each week, it picks the fan who engaged the most over the past 7 days and announces that person on my wall.

I posted a note on my Facebook page with all the "Fans of the Week" and every 3 months, I will use random.org to select a name from the list to win a prize.  As I just started using this one month ago, I decided to make the first one really easy by choosing a winner the first month :)
The fans of the week this period are:
Sept. 8th-Gloria Bailey
Sept. 15th-Audrey Wenzel
Sept. 22nd-Karen Buckley
Sept. 29th-Sharalyn Anderson

Using random.org, I selected a winner and her name is......

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Audrey Wenzel!!

Audrey, please email me at annaliesbabyboutique@yahoo.com so we can talk about what you won  :)

As for everyone else, keep on staying active on the page for a chance to win too!

Liar Liar, Pants on Fire

Princess has forgotten how to tell the truth.  She's started lying about pretty much everything even though she gets in trouble for lying every. single. time.  Today, she came out of her room and stood innocently in the middle of the living room for a few minutes waiting to be noticed.  When I turned around to see what she wanted, she smiled a chocolatey smile and said, "I didn't eat any chocolate, Mommy."  Jumping into judge and jury mode, I pointed out that she had chocolate all over her face and made the assumption that she had, indeed, eaten chocolate in some form.  A punishment was administered, and I asked her if she had eaten chocolate. 
"No, and I didn't get any on my hand either." 
Realizing that she'd been holding her right hand behind her back this whole time, I pulled it in front of her to find that it was covered in chocolate as well.  Another punishment for lying to me again and I asked her once more if she had eaten any chocolate.
"No, and I didn't put it under my bed either."
A quick search under her bed revealed the chocolatey goodness of which she had been partaking.
The same query was posed to her again, only to get the same results.  This lovely scenario continued for another half an hour before the truth which I was already completely aware of reluctantly came out of her mouth.  For the 14th time this week, we went over the basics of telling the truth and lying, and I emphasized once again how she would get in so much less trouble if she would just tell me the truth the first time.  Having grown up with a brother who was a compulsive liar (he has since kicked the habit quite satisfactorily, or so he says), I'm disinclined to see Princess head down the same path. 

And don't even get me started on Little Man's screaming tantrums.  If he doesn't get his way, he lets out scream after scream which earns his a time-out in the pack and play.  They aren't the nice screams that just puncture your ear drums though.  They're the kind of ear-piercing, hawk-about-to-descend-on-its-prey, make-you-want-to-cover-your-ears-and-scream-too type of screams.  I'd say Little Man's right on track developmentally.  I've only gotten  3 1/2 years of parenthood under my belt, but from my experience, brand-new toddlers are the hardest to handle.  And with Little Man's massive temper, I'd say we're in for a long bumpy ride. 

Vaccinations

I recently read a post on another blog about a possible link between SIDS and vaccinations.  If you're looking, you won't find it there anymore because due to the strong response, Kelly, the author of the blog, removed it.  It amazes me that people find it acceptable to be so ugly and hurtful on the internet, especially towards someone who is already hurting (Kelly and her husband lost their 4 month old baby girl to SIDS this past February).  If you wouldn't say the words to someone face to face, than do not type them on the computer either.  The person who will read your words is a real person with feelings too.

But I digress.  That's a whole other blog post right there.

Back in 1998, a Dr. Andrew Wakefield published a paper on a study he conducted about a possible link between childhood vaccinations and autism.  However, not only did he only use 12 test subjects (not nearly enough to get proper test results), he is also suspected of misrepresenting or altering the medical histories of the 12 subjects.  He has since had his medical license revoked.

This study sparked panic in many parents who immediately rethought their decision to vaccinate their children.  In 2007, actress Jenny McCarthy brought the study to everyone's attention.  Her son was diagnosed with autism and she blamed the vaccines he had received.  Because of her celebrity status, she was able to push this idea very successfully.

So are vaccinations really all that important?

In the 1920s, over 10,000 people a year died from diptheria, a disease that a simple vaccine can prevent.  It was the leading cause of death of toddlers in the 19th century.  Since the vaccine for diptheria was created, that number has dipped to only a few cases a year.

Measles is another disease that has been eradicated from America by a vaccine (although it is steadily making a comeback due to lower rates of vaccination).  Before the measles vaccine was available, most children contracted measles before they turned 15.  Approximately 450 people died each year from it. 

Since 2007, there have been over 80,000 instances of diseases that were once believed to be eradicated in this country due to vaccinations.  There have been over 700 deaths.  Diseases such as measles, mumps, pertussis, etc. are making a comeback.  Because of some parents' decisions not to vaccinate their children, other children who are to young or weak to have received the vaccinations, or who have not gotten the booster shots yet, are also at risk. 
 
So why is autism so much more prevalent today than it was even 30 years ago?  I don't believe it is.  Doctors nowadays watch for signs of autism starting at a very early age, and parents are much more aware of the disorder as well.  What is now diagnosed as autism would have been diagnosed as a different disorder completely at one time.  We have also come to realize that the spectrum of autism is very large.  Many people who are diagnosed with autism, would have once been thought of as "retarded" or "different."  We now know that these people are on the autism spectrum and should be treated accordingly.

I invite you to comment with your opinion.  Just remember that this is MY blog and I expect a certain level of civility and respect for others here. 

Self-Esteem Vs. Self-Respect

It seems like every parenting magazine or child-rearing book has at least one article or chapter devoted to nurturing self-esteem in your children.  Apparently, children are very delicate creatures who are prone to thinking little of themselves and it's up to us, as their parents, to build up their self-esteem.

Give me a break.

Children are born with more self-esteem than they can use in a lifetime.  Their whole universe revolves around them.  Which is good at first since their survival as infants depends on it.  When they get to be toddlers however, that self-esteem starts to get in the way of good behavior as they scream and throw tantrums, regardless of the well-being or sanity of those around them, in an attempt to get what they want when they want.  They are not concerned with those around them; #1 still comes first.  It's our job as parents, to mold those little egos into considerate, compassionate people.  We have to teach them NOT to put #1 first.  Self-esteem is not self-like, it is self-absorption.

Self-respect is completely different.  I know many children who have high self-esteem, but they don't respect themselves.  Self-esteem has to do with your thought process (I'm the best, I can do anything, etc.) while self-respect has to do with your actions (I respect myself enough to not get in a bad relationship, to keep out of trouble, etc.)

This is how I'm teaching my children to have self-respect versus self-esteem: 

• Don't praise them excessively for every little thing they do.  The experts on self-esteem agree that if your child has put effort into something, you need to praise that effort and not correct them, for by doing so, you will crush their spirits.  Really?  Do you think their boss is going to feel the same way when they grow up?  In the real world, your child will be expected to do things correctly, will not be praised every time they do, and will have to accept constructive (or sometimes not constructive) criticism gracefully.  If they don't, they're not going to get very far and will be pretty unhappy with life.  Here's an example:  Every time Johnny colors a picture, makes something in the sandbox, learns a new skill, etc, his mother praises him repeatedly and doesn't point out any imperfections.  Johnny is not stupid, he knows that not everything he does is perfect.  After a while of being praised for everything including the not-so-great stuff, he will begin to doubt himself.  His mother tells him how wonderful he is no matter what he does, but she tells him that even when he doesn't do a wonderful job.  He begins to wonder if he can trust his mother's opinion and doubt that he really is doing such a great job after all.  But he can't let her down, and he's been told that he's the best, the most talented, the greatest at everything he does so he applies this to whatever venture he tries.  But no matter what he does, there will always be that nagging doubt in the back of his mind, "Am I really so good at this?"  Children often become what we tell them they are, and so he will want to believe that he is.  When someone comes along who is better than him or when he fails at something, it will crush his spirit, the same spirit his mother so vainly tried to build up.  He will try to compensate for his failures by bragging about himself and generally, his mother is more than willing to help out in that aspect.  Pretty soon his friends don't like being around him because he simply HAS to be better at everything than them.  Johnny's mother will also begin to lose friends because every time they get together, she has to top everything the other parents can say about their own children. You do have to let children know that you believe in them and that you know they can do a great job, but you also have to let them get used to the idea that sometimes things just won't work out, and that there will be someone who is better than them. For instance, Princess likes to help me fold laundry.  If I followed the advice of experts, I would praise her efforts and not correct them.  But I want her to be able to handle criticism.  When she folds a shirt in a way that will wrinkle excessively and hands it to me, I tell her that we will have to try it a different way.  I gently help her unfold and refold it.  When we're done, she always looks proud of herself and will usually thank me for showing her how to do it.  When we're done folding laundry, I give her a big hug and tell her thank you for being such a good helper and learner.

• I don't wait on my kids hand and foot.  I've seen many mothers do this and every time, the children come out self-centered and believing that they deserve to be waited on.  Okay, now what happens if they marry someone whose mother also waited on them hand and foot?  Unless one or both of the partners change their outlook, the marriage will be unhappy and will more than likely end up in divorce.  Our first priority should not be ourselves, it needs to be others.  When you have a society where #1 comes first, you have a lot of suffering and unhappiness since everyone is so focused on themselves that they don't stop to help others.  Jesus gave us the perfect example of having a servant's heart in John 13:4-9.  He and His disciples had just walked a long distance on dusty roads and, since they wore sandals, their feet were dirty.  It was the servants' or slaves' job at the time to wash the feet of guests at a home, but Jesus Himself knelt before His disciples to wash their feet before attending to his own needs.  To be honest, I'm pretty self-centered.  But I recently read a book called "Created to Be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl and since then, I've been striving to put my husband's needs and wants before my own.  And not only does this obviously make him happier, but it makes me happier as well.  When we teach our children to wait on others instead of being waited on themselves, they will be happier too. 

• And the biggest one...Respect yourself.  Children most often learn by example and not by word.  If you lie to the store clerk, your children will lie to you.  If you badtalk people behind their back, you can be sure your children will be critical of others as well.  If you respect yourself enough to make good decisions and take care of yourself, they will do the same for themselves.  This will equip them to be able to withstand peer pressure, stand up for their rights, and make healthy choices. 

Obviously, not all the advice on self-esteem is bad.  Things such as loving them unconditionally, giving them your full-attention when they're talking to you, and encouraging them are crucial to a child growing up to be a happy and stable adult.  However, the emphasis needs to be on self-respect, not self-esteem.

Help, I've Fallen and I can't Get Up

I woke up a few days ago with a slight twinge in my lower back.  Attributing it to sleeping wrong, I ignored it and went on my merry way.  The next day, it hurt a little worse.  "Good grief, I gotta learn to turn over when I sleep" was my thought.  The next day, I reached under the kitchen table and the twinge turned into a LOT more.  I whined and winced my way through supper that night.  It hurt to sit, stand, lay, move, lift my arms, move my feet,...you get the picture.  Got up the next morning and things had not improved at all.  In fact, it had gone the other direction.  I called my mommy to complain and beg her to let my little sister come take of care of me...I mean the kids so I could rest.  Before my sister arrived to save the day, I helped Little Man out of his high chair.  BAD IDEA.  As I was hanging onto the kitchen chair, with tears streaming down my face, trying to keep from landing on the floor, Princess, with sympathy in her eyes, said to me, "It's okay if you fall on the floor, Mommy.  I'll scoot you over to the door."

How thoughtful.  I think her plan was to dump me outside and leave me to die while she and her brother partied it up in the house.

I sucked it up and called the chiropractor.  Thankfully, they could squeeze me in the same morning.  After some x-rays, he informed me that I didn't pull a muscle like I'd assumed.  I have a pinched disc.  He cracked my back in several places and sent me home to rest and ice it.   

I'm more upset about the inconvenience of this then anything.  I'm also SO thankful that all I have is a pinched disc versus whatever it is that my dad has wrong with his back.  When his back goes out, it leaves the country.  The pain (I would imagine) is comparable with childbirth, which, if you've ever given birth naturally (which I have), you know it HURTS.

Counting my blessings during this little trial!  I'm thankful it's not worse.  Thankful I was able to get into the chiropractor right away for some relief.  Thankful that I have such a caring family who is willing to help me at the drop of a bucket.  Thankful that they're not sick of me and my health issues yet :)  Thankful that I have enough boutique orders that taking a few days off to let my back recuperate is going to make me VERY busy next week.  Thankful that it's my back and not my asthma (I really like breathing).